Snatches and Cupcakes

Having been recently informed that this blog has become Beardcentric and Bro-biased it seemed only appropriate, if not necessary, to get in touch with our collective feminine side. Hence I have gathered what appears to be a full, perhaps comprehensive, list of reasons why it is a clear cut advantage to be a woman. This is obviously meant in good fun and is purely for entertainment purposes. 

That being said, "The views and opinions expressed in this post are summarized from multiple outlets and do not necessarily reflect official policy or position of the Beards, Bulking, Bros, Bras and Boarding Governing Body. Assumptions made within this post are not reflective of any specific Broskis."

Hopefully you will enjoy a few laughs while you read! 

Advantages of Being A Woman

1. You can cry without pretending there's something in your contact.
2. You actually get extra points for sitting on your butt, watching sports.
3. If you're a lousy athlete, you don't have to question your worth as a human being.
4. A new lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.
5. In high school, you never had to walk down the hall with your binder strategically positioned.
6. If you use self-tanner, it doesn't necessarily mean you're a big loser.
7. Brad Pitt!
8. You'll never have to decide where to hide your nose-hair clippers.
9. When you take off your shoes, nobody passes out.
10. If the person you're dating is much better at something than you are, you don't have to break up with him.
11. If you think the person your dating really likes you, you don't have to break up with him.
12. You can dress yourself.
13. Your hair is yours to keep.
14. You don't have to pretend to like cigars.
15. If you marry someone 20 years younger, you know you look like an idiot.
16. You're rarely compelled to scream at the TV.
17. You and your friends don't have to get totally wasted in order to share your feelings.
18. Your friend won't think you're weird when you ask if there's spinach in your teeth.
19. When you get a million catalogues in the mail, it's a good thing.
20. Sometimes, chocolate truly can solve all your problems.
21. If you're under 6', you don't have to lie about it.
22. You'll never discover you've been fooled by a Wonderbra.
23. You don't have hair on your back.
24. If anything on your body isn't as big as it should be, you can get implants.
25. You can tell which glass was yours by the lipstick mark. 
26. If you have big ears, no one has to know.
27. You can be attracted to someone just because they're really funny. 
28. You can borrow your spouse's clothes and it doesn't mean you belong on Jerry Springer.
29. Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
30. Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.
31. The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
32. You can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
33. You never ejaculate prematurely.
34. When you buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's pathetic.
35. Your boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in yours.
36. You can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
37. You've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
38. Taxis stop for you.
39. You don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
40. You know The Truth about whether size matters.
41. Condoms make no significant difference in your enjoyment of sex.
42. Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep.
43. It's possible to live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.
44. No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo.
45. You don't have to fart to amuse yourself.
46. You never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.
47. If you forget to shave, no one has to know.
48. You can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her ass.
49. If you have a zit, you know how to conceal it.
50. You never have to reach down every so often to make sure your privates are still there.
51. You don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
52. You can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
53. Gay waiters don't make you uncomfortable.
54. You'll never regret piercing our ears.
55. You can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.